My mum is so worried that i'll turn into one big, fat lady. Like, seriously.

Today when we went out for bak kut teh my dad ordered three big rice and three small rice. My mum INSISTED that i take the small rice although i told her i felt like eating more. Also one of the maids doesnt really eat much so i wanted to exchange with her. AND, what is bak kut teh without lots of rice anyway? :(

I gave in eventually cos she refused to let me have the big rice. My sis had to exchange her small bowl of rice with the maid and give me 30% of her rice.

Not only that, my mum told me that day, "Actually why don't you drink the Herbalife tea now? You can start after Christmas." Boy was i surprised! Last time i had to drink it without her notice because she simply forbidded me to drink and she used to get so mad at me for drinking it!

And she kept telling me, "Dont eat so much. If you gain weight its very hard to lose it."

I KNOW! :(

Just so you know, last time when i mentioned about how much weight i've gained etc etc, she would shoot me her irritated look and retort, "Fat your head! I don't want to hear that again!"

Oh My Gosh. Its funny how the tables have turned!

Okay, enough about my weight!

I finally got to play for the Christmas Eve Service! ;) Yes, that makes me a happy happy girl! I really really missed playing. Thank God i didn't lose much of my skills! Hehe ... Thank you Uncle XH for giving me the chance to serve! Even if its only for a night :)

See? Still so hyper after getting home!

Last but not least, MERRY CHRISTMAS !!! :))

6:32 am; undramatically.Y

3:44 pm; undramatically.Y

2:58 pm; undramatically.Y

I AM SO DETERMINED TO LOSE WEIGHT NOW !!!

Excuse me for being so paranoid about my weight! Hehe i am always battling with it anyway.

So, tonight we went to Uncle Steven's house for housewarming. And the comments i got were ...

"Wah! You look fatter already!"

"You look nicer now! Fei tut tut haha!"

"At least your mum feels better since you didn't lose weight." (haha what an indirect way to imply that i have gained weight.)

"Do you eat alot there?"

"Wow bigger size already ah!"

"Your cheeks are so red! How come?"

*stabs heart repeatedly*

Okay. Except for the cheeks part.

3:38 pm; undramatically.Y

"My, what beautiful blossoms we have this year. But look, this one's late. But I'll bet that when it blooms, it will be the most beautiful of all. "

8:11 am; undramatically.Y

8:06 am; undramatically.Y

Being back home feels so different now!

I automatically revert to my old self at home! There is no need to cook, do laundry, clean etc. so i basically just laze around the house, go online, watch tv, read storybooks - aha! now i have the mood to read them - and suddenly i have so much extra time now!

And, i have only been gone for two or three months and there is so many changes in the house now! Like there is an ironing board plus new cabinets and shelfs to place stuffs in the store room, and i have a new shower curtain in my bathroom *beams* Speaking of which, i felt kinda weird when i stepped into it yesterday because it is SO MUCH spacious than the Northumberland one. Haha! Mine is like four to five times bigger than the Northumberland one. Not only that, my room looked so empty and bright when i first saw it after a few months! The feeling is just plain weird. And there is now a dark brown cupboard with flowers on top of it in the maids' room. Oh and poor Bobo has a humongous tumor on her body now :(

Besides that, i really missed driving! Haha i missed speeding especially. Surprisingly i could still remember how to drive this morning, despite driving not so frequently before i left :)

I never realised how bitter women can be until this morning when i went to touch up my roots. Those typical aunties were dissing non-stop about men and complaining how disadvantaged women are nowadays. Haha it was really funny when they started feeling sorry for themselves! My sis and I tried so hard to refrain ourselves from bursting into laughter! I had to look the other way just in case they caught me laughing ><

But, the downside of coming home is i am so much fatter than i was which, is very very depressing! I saw my legs in the mirror for the first time and what went through my mind was, "Damn! Whose legs are these ??!! These are NOT my legs !!!" And my mum and sis are much slimmer now! *sighs*

Hence, i came to a conclusion.

Eat as much as possible BUT lose as much weight as i can.

Hmmm ... That's possible right? ;P

7:18 am; undramatically.Y

Everything is just a matter of perception.

Like that day, when Boo, Nic and I were talking online ...

Me: *whining, as usual* Maths is like one of my best subjects in A Level! Now that i come here i can't seem to do anything! I can't do Maths. I can't do Stats. I can't do Econs! Everything also i cannot do!

Nic: Haiyo its just your second month here ...

Me: That's why! Its only my second month and i already can't do most of my subjects!

Nic: No. Think of it another way! Its only your second month that's why as time goes by you'll get used to them. Girl, you must think positive!

Yes. That will be my new motto now! =D

4:22 pm; undramatically.Y

I feel sooo much better now.

Today is really a bad day, as in, really bad. I screwed up things, as usual and i felt shitty and stupid.

BUT, after a heart-to-heart/bitching/whining session with some friends, i felt happier. I seriously need to overcome all my fears and insecurities. Having support from above is such a comfort!

I shall introduce you my hobby that currently ranks on top of other hobbies:

TALKING.

=)

Thank God for friends who share the same views. At least i am not alone.

10:29 pm; undramatically.Y